“Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren’t really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion” says Dr. Richard Carlson in his book “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”. Learning to choose our battles wisely is not only a smart thing to do; it is a requirement to guard the sanity of our lives. As humans we have limited time, energy and strength, which means we cannot engage ourselves in all the battles that come our way.
“Choosing your battles wisely” is a phrase often used in the context of teaching parental skills. However in reality it’s not only parents who should be choosing their battles, every one of us has to carefully choose between the many battles that come our way on a daily basis. During my research on this topic I realized two important reasons why people do not carefully choose their battles: 1. Because their ego is hurt when they pass the opportunity to prove something to someone. 2. Because they do not have clear priorities or values in life.
One of the tragedies of our sinful nature is the fact that many of us tend to believe that the value of our life is based on our ability to win many battles.
One of the tragedies of our sinful nature is the fact that many of us tend to believe that the value of our life is based on our ability to win many battles. We unconsciously develop this urge to engage in every battle and feel responsible to constantly prove our point. But the reality is that many of us are draining our energy as we engage in battles that are not worth fighting. Dr Richard Carlson suggests “A more peaceful way to live is to decide consciously which battles are worth fighting and which are better left alone. . . . Is it really important . . . that you confront someone simply because . . . he or she has made a minor mistake? . . . Does a small scratch on your car really warrant a suit in small claims court? . . . These and thousands of other small things are what many people spend their lives fighting about. . . . If you don’t want to ‘sweat the small stuff,’ it’s critical that you choose your battles wisely.”
Too many fights not only steal our time but in fact make us incapable to fight the battles that really matter in life.
I recently read this powerful story about the Wright Brothers who are hailed as “conquerors of the air” after their demonstration of flight between 1903 and 1908. Wilber Wright was very successful in his invention of the first flight, however right after his success in flight he waged bitter court fights against other inventors trying to protect patent-rights for the airplane. May be it was an important battle to fight, but the intensity with which Wilber fought this battle really took a toll on his health.
He was so occupied with these legal battles that he almost neglected his own health and every other important thing in life. These legal battles expended his energies and eventually took his life. He died on May 30, 1912, from Typhoid, at the young age of 45. At the time it was normal to recover from Typhoid, but Wilbur was so weak from the stress of court fighting that he was not able to fight the illness. I am realizing that many of the fights we engage in our daily life are not worth our time or peace. They not only steal our time but in fact make us incapable to fight the battles that really matter in life. I think sometimes its best just to let things go, after all there are only few things in life that are truly worth fighting.
Lawrence Webster says “Life is full of opportunities for us to take on battles. There are times when it is important for us to go to battle; Take a stance for causes that we believe in; stand up for what is right. Those times are mountains worth dying on. There are other mountains that are not worth the battle. Some disagreements and conflicts simply are not worth the fight…Maybe the risks of battle far outweigh the rewards of victory. Whatever the case, life requires us to wisely select the battles we choose to fight. If you go through life without standing up for anything you will feel empty and pointless. On the other hand, if you choose to fight every little issue that comes along, you will be in constant battle and probably won’t experience many victories on the real important issues. Choose your battles carefully; some issues just are not the mountain to die on.”
Whatever the case, life requires us to wisely select the battles we choose to fight.
– – Author: Rev. Francis Burgula – –
